What Good Can Come
by beachbum116
Summary: What happens if Dimitri leaves Rose and she makes some stupid decisions. Who helps her before she does something she really regrets. How can she help them when some people are lying and decietful in more ways than you'd think. Strong language and dark-ish
1. Chapter 1

I strolled mindlessly into training, just like every other day. As I walk in, I flash Dimitri my best man-eating smile.

"Ready to get your ass kicked today, Comrade?" His mouth tilted upward in a small smile and he shook his head at my comment. I love that little smile. I love him in general.

"Language, Roza," he reminded me. I ignored his reply and walked over to the locker room to put down my bag. I'm already wearing my training clothes so I don't have to change. I kick open the door with my foot and teasingly sway my hips as I walk back to Dimitri. He stood, tall, dark, and handsome, with his hair in a rubber band at the nape of his neck.

"Ready to sta-" I cut him off mid sentence as I leapt in the air and had him pinned to the ground within a second.

"Round one goes to me!" I exclaimed happily. Dimitri didn't look so ecstatic as he climbed off the floor. I ready myself in battle stance making sure to leave not vulnerable spots open for his attack. I watch as his face changes to attack mode and after a second, he pounces and the dance begins. He aims a kick at my shoulder so I grab his foot at throw it out from under him, using his slight lack of flexibility, due to the fact that he's a man, to my advantage. As he regains his balance, I punch at his stomach and he blocks it.

One hour and about seven rounds later, I'm getting exhausted. Dimitri just declared that practice is over for now so I go into the locker room and grab my things. I kick open the door again because my hands are preoccupied dumping as much water down my throat as I can. I just finished off my first bottle when Dimitri's voice echoes through the quiet gym.

"Roza, we need to talk," I look over at him and he looks stressed. He's sitting in the middle of the floor, so I walk over, cross my legs and sit down Indian-style right in front of him.

"Is this about what I did to Jesse, 'cause he tota-"

"No, I have something more serious to talk about," his completely stoic voice and expression are beginning to disturb me, and I'm thinking something's wrong. The next words that leave his mouth shock me into silence, and I have to say, that is not easy to do. "I'm leaving. Tasha Ozera offered me a job as her Guardian. I'm good friends with her and I can't refuse a chance like this, so I'm leaving. Alberta will find someone else to train you until you are finished catching up. I'm leaving tomorrow," he finished.

I'm stunned. I can't even think of words to say because my mind is drawing a blank. I sit there with my mouth gaping open like a fish for a minute. All of a sudden, a petite figure, with a tomato red face rimmed in blonde ringlets is shooting daggers back at me. I'm in Lissa's head

_Lissa and Mia are arguing "civilly" again but I can feel Lissa getting more than mildly upset. Voices are rising and spirit darkness is starting to build up in Lissa and Mia's antagonizing is not helping. I mentally sigh and pull in the darkness, not even thinking about what I'm doing because I've been doing this so much lately. _

I pull out of Lissa's head and someone is incessantly snapping in my face.

"Roza, Rose! Are you okay? Answer me!" Dimitri. I blink twice and look up at him and he sighs in relief. He looks up to the ceiling and when our eyes meet again, a flash of recognition and the terror flash across those chocolate pools. Probably from the look of pure anger I'm sure is stained into my pupils. I feel the consequences of the darkness as it fuels my rising temper, ready to snap at this ass hole in front of me.

"Roza, calm down," he warned.

All hell broke loose. "First off," I start in a creepily calm yet threatening voice, low and furious, "don't you dare call me _Roza,_" I practically spit the name I used to love. "And second don't tell me to calm down," my voice is growing louder, I'm pretty much growling at this point, "Especially after choosing some slutty bitch over me! I thought that maybe, just maybe, we had something special. Apparently, I was wrong," I continue.

Dimitri opens his mouth, probably to spout some aggregating zen lesson on how we should still be friends, but before a sound leaves his lips, I'm screaming. "I LOVED YOU! I really did, and now, now I can't even believe I was stupid enough to fall for your tricks. I was just a stupid little toy for you, wasn't I? But, you know what? I have to thank you. So, thanks for showing me what a horrible person you really are. Goodbye, forever."

I grab my bag and maliciously stomp to the exit. The fact that he didn't even try to contradict me just proves all of my accusations are right. By now I had screamed out all of the darkness, and all I have left is pain, that I had been nothing but a toy, all this time. He never loved my, not like I loved him. I feel the first tear streak down my face just as I enter my room. It leads the way for many more and I don't even try to wipe them away. I let them drip down my face in all their glory. I toe out of my shoes and throw my gym bag on the chair by my desk.

I strip down to nothing and grab a towel as I walk past my unmade bed to the door that connects my room and my bathroom. I turn on the shower as hot as it will go without really hurting me and wait for it to warm up. I put down the towel by the sink and climb under the waves of hot water and feel as they mix with the tears still shamelessly rolling over my cheeks. My tense muscles begin to relax and I attempt to clear my head, meaning thinking about anything but the catastrophe that just happened and the man that caused the snow ball to start rolling.

**(A/N This is my first fanfic so please read and review. I'll probably update really soon, probably tomorrow but I might need help with ideas for the story and where it should go. Be nice!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N Just so you know, when Rose is in Lissa's head it's in _ITALICS _and when she's in Lissa's head, but it's Rose's thought, it is NOT in italics.)**

he almost painfully hot water is still pelting down on me. I'm trying to think about recent occurrences in my life, but all I can think of has to do with Dimitri. Has he really been such a big part of my life?

I've been neglecting my friends and now I barely know what's going on in their lives. The only other person that I really know the agenda of is Lissa.

She's been acting strange recently. She randomly builds up mental block that she finally figured out how to work. I think the reason for that, though, is that she's practicing them, because it always happens when she's with Adrian. They practice a lot and Adrian can even heal a little bit. The progress is really exciting, but the side-effects are definitely not as great. I usually pull the darkness from Lissa before it causes her to do anything rash, but it's been causing me a whole lot of trouble, and detention. Lissa said that I shouldn't have to deal with her problems but I can tell she's a lot happier when I carry the burden. Also, it's my job to protect her, and this is just part of the job. However, this particular part of the job is making me a bit unstable.

As I look around, I realize that I'm still in the shower, the water is starting to run cold and I look like a prune. I get out, dry off and throw on my comfiest pair of sweats. My towel is wrapped around my hair like a turban and I set off to find my hairbrush.

As I tear apart my room I think a little more about my life and realize that it is completely out of control. I barely have any of the reigns in my own life and all I can do is watch as everyone else makes decisions for me. As I finish the circle around my room, I remember how Lissa used to feel just like this. But my situation is a little bit worse than hers, at least she had a choice in who she loved.

I drag myself into the bathroom again and mentally slap myself for still loving Dimitri after what he did to me. How did Lissa deal with this though? As I'm clawing through the bottom drawer under the sink I remember how the dealt, just as I found the razors I confiscated from her. I picked them up and turned them over in my fingers. I pull a loose thread on my plain tank top until it's taunt and lightly blush the blade across it, the slim metal severed the tread as soon as it made contact. They're still as sharp as ever.

I think back to this morning and instantaneously, the tears are flowing again. A pain in my chest rips it wide open and searing hot pain soars through me. I look down at the shining metal in my palm. If it worked for Lissa, why wouldn't it work for me? I delicately slid them into my pocket and continued trough the drawer until I found my brush.

After brushing, blow-drying, and re-brushing my hair, I walked to my door and slid out into the hallway of the dhampirs' girls' dorms. As of now, class was in session (can you blame me for skipping today?), so I probably won't be seen by any students. It's drizzling, but I don't care, it's not like I'm wearing make-up. I'd just cry it off.

Silently, I sneak all the way across campus. As I reach the church, I make sure no one's there and climb up to the attic. No one will find me up here, well maybe Lissa but as of now, the only thing she can do is help me out off my fragile mental state.

I gaze sightlessly out across the school in the hazy rain, stained multiple vivid colors by the intricate glass pattern adorning the window. My eyes are bleary from the tears tumbling down my face and I clutch at my chest, attempting, in vein, to subdue the searing pain bubbling under my skin. I cried my heart out for hours until I eventually felt numb.

I don't know how long I had been lying by the window when something viciously tears me away from the peace I was feeling. Now, I find myself, yet again, in Lissa's head.

_Christian and Lissa are walking around now that classes are over for the day. _So that's how long it's been._ Lissa had informed Christian that she needed to tell him something, but she still has yet to let him know what it is. Finally, when they are at a gazebo hidden a short way into the woods, she turns to him._

"_Christian," she begins, her words sounding sad and grim, "I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just spit it out," Her depressed words don't match the sadistic pleasure I feel building up inside of her._

"_Christian, I love you, I really do," lies spill from her devious lips, "but, more like a brother than a boyfriend, and I think it would be best if we broke up. I'm so sorry; I just didn't want to string you along. Except, she's been stringing him along for months. Although a frown stains her angelic face, she inwardly smiles as the watches through his crystal blue eyes. His face conveys no emotion, but if you know how to read Christian, you can see his heart shatter to pieces. _

_Lissa leans forward and hugs him, but he doesn't respond. She leaves him, shocked and broken in the woods and as soon as she is sure he won't hear her, a wicked smile stretches across her face and she laughed and enjoyed the pain that Christian was radiating._

Finally I got back to my own body, and I can't even spare pity for Christian or feel disgust at Lissa's twisted sadism because the pain ripped through me again. I shot up and heard a little tinkling sound come from my pocket. I reach in and extract the long forgotten razors.

Without even thinking, I take one and drag it across my wrist with just the slightest bit of pressure. I remember when Lissa did this, hew she would watch the blood ooze out and finally feel in control. All I feel is stupid. I stare down at the thin line of blood, which is quickly thickening. The first drop of the scarlet liquid tears from the cut and falls to the floor. The simple sound of the one drop is tremendous in the eerily silent attic. I laugh down at the cut. My noise grows loud enough that I don't hear the footsteps ascending the stairs. I'm so preoccupied with my stupidity and watching the peculiar way the blood flows down my arm that I don't make any move to cover it. It's not like the pain fazes me at all.

I don't notice somebody venturing up into the attic.

"Rose?" I hear the figure in front of me call my name, yet I don't even look up.

"Yes," I reply through my now quiet giggles.

"Rose! Rose, what are you doing?" Whoever's there I panicking now, I hear it in their voice. At first it was a question, wondering if it's really me. Then recognition. Then panic and fear.

I hope it's Dimitri, yet I don't. I want him to see what he's done to me, but I don't want to see him at all. My internal rambling is proved pointless when I finally look up, way up. Even if I wasn't sitting, I would still have to crane my neck a bit to look them in the eye. I start at their black, grey and silver sneakers, up to the black jeans and how they sit low on his slim hips, showing just a little bit of his boxers, then, I make my way up to the plain black t-shirt. Finally, I gaze up into those crystal blue eyes, which are almost covered by shaggy, black hair.

Christian.

**(A/N Finally, here's where Christian comes in! So help, how does he react? How does Rose react, she's kind of out of it right now. Review please so i can write the next chapter!)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you like this chapter. I worked hard so enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: No, i don't own Vampire Academy :(**

My mind is wandering again and I look back down at my wrist. Blood is still trickling down, and it's starting to burn, but not enough to really bother me. Not like the searing pain still sitting in my heart, or what's left of it. Still looking down at the line of slowly oozing blood, I bring my other hand up to my chest and start crying.

"Rose! What are you doing?" Christian asks again, more forcefully this time. The haze that has kept me from focusing since I came up here loosens its grip on my mind and I realize how bad I look to him.

I'm sitting up in a dusty attic of a church with my hair barely brushed and I'm in crappy sweats, hiding behind boxes by a window. No one has seen me all day, other than Dimitri, but I'd rather not think of that. Fresh tears are covering the old tear stains that have been there since I got out of the shower this morning. One hand I feebly grasping my chest over my heart, trying to dull the pain. My other hand is sitting out in front of me with blood dripping down it. Two small razor blades are sitting by my knee and by now, he figured out that I had cut myself. When he first walked up, he heard my laughing like a maniac, staring down at the scarlet river, dripping into a puddle on the floor.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he walks up to me, hands in the air showing he means no harm. He seems like he's approaching a wild animal, although if I were him, I'd be afraid of me too. He kneels next to me and reaches carefully over my waist and picks up the blades and they sparkle a bit in the dim light shining through the window. He probably expects me to snap and grab them, but I don't want them. They didn't help; they just made me feel even stupider.

I just sit calmly and watch. I'm not crying anymore. I'm so exhausted and hungry, it's probably dinner and I haven't eaten at all today, that I don't have the energy to cry anymore, so I just watch.

He grabs my wrist, the bloody one, and pulls it up closer to him. With his thumb, he lightly swipes away the blood still sitting around the cut, but more just takes its place. It stings but I don't even flinch. Truthfully, I'm surprised how much blood can come out of a hair thin, two inch long cut; it wasn't even that deep.

I feel kind of bad that he has to see me like this. We always fought and teased, but we do care about each other. Also, not only is this actually really embarrassing, mostly because I never cry, but now he's probably going to feel obliged to take care of this. There is no way I can convince him to just go away and pretend this never happened, and in my condition, he would probably beat me in any fight I start.

He dropped my arm and I hope that maybe he will just leave, although I find myself desperately hoping he'll stay at the same time. I don't want to be alone. I look up and he's taking off his shirt. It doesn't bother me, in training I've seen a plethora of shirtless guys, and I've worse in Lissa's head, but I get out before anything happens. He lightly lays the black fabric on the cut and pushes down a little. As I watch my blood soak his shirt, I feel bad for probably ruining it. My eyes glide up to his face, and he's looking into my eyes. I feel slightly embarrassed again. I definitely look like a wreck.

He's staring intently at me, and I believe he's trying to read my mind. There is no way he's not interested in how I ended up like this. After a couple minutes, Christian snaps back to reality and lifts his shirt from my wrist. It looks disgusting, surrounded by dried blood, but the hemorrhaging has stopped so he tosses the shirt into the corner.

As soon as I look up into his eyes again I know that I'm in for some serious interrogation.

"Why, Rose? Why would you do this to yourself?" he questions. His voice is pleading, but confused. I shrug. I'm not sure how to answer, or if I even want to. The look on his face tells me that I'm not getting away with it. If he wants an answer, than fine!

"He left me!" I yell, "He left me for that fucking whore! He never even loved me. I loved him and all I ever was to him was a toy. He told me this morning at practice and I screamed at him and ran to my room. I took a shower and… and," I'm just talking normal by now. I reach into Christian's pocket and pull out the blades. I twirl them gingerly in my hands as I talk, "and I found these. I remember how Lissa used to feel like this and this," I raised the razors in front of his face, "is how she dealt with it. I put them in my pocket and forgot about them. I've been hiding up here all day and I was sucked into Lissa's head. Before then I was numb, but the pain came back and I remembered about the blades so I took them out and I cut my wrist," I look down ashamed, but continued, "The only thing I felt was stupid. It didn't help at all. Ii didn't even hurt. I was laughing at my own stupidity when you came up. And you know the rest."

When I look back up, all I see is his face scrunched up in confusion. "Who are you talking about, and didn't Belikov get upset when he came in and you ran off? You two aren't best friends but I thought he'd at least try to comfort you."

"The only reason _Dimitri_," I spit his name with as much venom as I can muster, "was upset was because I was screaming at him. He left me for Tasha. Why would he do that?" After a second I realize that Tasha is Christian's aunt and quickly add, "No offence! Sorry, I guess she really never did anything wrong. But still…"

"Wait a second. You and Belikov? Together?" he asks, "I mean I knew you two were kind of close but, wow!"

I sigh and go into a brief summary about everything that has happened since the day he found Lissa and me at that house. **(A/N At this point in time, the lust charm did happen, but the cabin didn't.) **I make sure to involve every relevant detail so I take almost half an hour. By the time I finish, he is leaning against the wall and my head rests in his lap while the rest of my bode lies strewn out across the floor. I finished with my story and Christian is sitting with a dazed look on his face.

"So?" I cautiously ask him.

"Well, it's a lot to take in, but truthfully, I'm just happy to have something to think about other than Lissa breaking up with me," he answers.

"About that," I begin. I hate to break this news to him, but he has to know, "she was lying, a lot. She lied about stringing you along; she's been doing that for months. And about loving you. She even lied about being sorry. Christian I think something's really wrong with her. Being in her head would have churned my stomach, had I not been so preoccupied. Her thoughts where sadistic and creepy and now thinking of it, my skin is crawling," I look up at him and I can tell by his eyes that his heart is broken again, although it never really came back together. I feel so horrible for him that, without even thinking I sit up and grab him in a hug. I can't stand how broken he looks.

He desperately searches through my eyes, silently begging to find that this is a lie, a joke, but I know that all he finds is the truth when a single tear leaks from his eye. I reach up and wipe it away with my thumb. No more follow and I pull him even tighter to me. I'm about to let go, feeling once again stupid, this time for hugging him, when his arms slowly wrap around me and he rests his head on my shoulder and I feel a damp spot spread through my shirt. After a few moments he begins to shake lightly with the sobs that he was definitely attempting not to let my see.

We both sit there and cry for our broken hearts, for each other.

I just barely notice when the sun crawls up over the horizon. By now we're both laying on the floor, and the tears have stopped. My head is on his chest and his head is on the not bloody side of his t-shirt. I slowly slip through the cracks of consciousness and drift of into the serenity of dreams in the complete silence that is wrapped around the small room.

**(A/N Okay so that's the first three chapters in two days. This is my last day of winter break so the rest will probably be more spread out but I'll try to updateonce a week. However, i have no clue where the story goes from here. Do Rose and Christian get romantic, or stay friends? What about Rose's new mentor, boy or girl? Does they get along. What happens between Rose and Lissa? I have some ideas but I want to know what you want to happen. You may sway my decision! Please review and tell me. I'm hoping for five reveiws for this chapter!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own :(**

**Sorry that it's been a whole week, but i have school to attend so i can't promise to update too often but i promise not to take huge amounts of time in between. **

Suspended in the blackness engulfing me, I float around, not thinking about anything in particular for more than a few seconds. Suddenly, I feel myself being dragged from this serene, joyful presence. I'm yanked to the surface and something is watching me. The back of my neck tingles, signaling me to the eyes searching my face.

My own eyes flutter open and the first thing I see is icy, crystal blue orbs intently focused on me. I begin to flex my muscles, and realize the tangled mess of our bodies. My head is on Christian's shoulder with most of my torso flattened against his. His arms lay around my waist with one of mine around his neck and the other lazily flung over his stomach. I can't even tell where my legs end and his begin.

He sits up, and then drags me along and we get situated. Memories of yesterday fleetingly run through my mind and I inwardly cringe as any amount of peace of mind is torn away. My head gently lowers onto his shoulder and his arms weave around my waist, attempting to instill some amount of comfort. It worked well enough to find some part of my brain still working and thoughts other than being heartbroken swim through my head.

I suddenly remember that I haven't showered since yesterday morning and I wore these gross sweats all day yesterday, bled all over them, and slept in them. Next, I realize that last night I slept up in this dingy attic, with Christian. For some reason or another, this fails to bring me unease. I know it was a friendly-seeking-comfort-in-another-broken-soul type thing. I suddenly feel like Christian is the only person that I have left to trust. The only people that I could tell everything to, Lissa and Dimitri, well, Lissa's starting to fall over the edge into insanity into a ditch of sadistic hatred and self loathing, attempting to drag down everyone she can with her, and Dimitri's off being a man-whore. So…I don't have many options.

I start to feel extremely disgusting and eventually I can't wait any longer for a shower. I stand up and my joints crack from being moved after so much stillness and sleeping on the floor. I reach my arms up as high as I can and rise up to my tip-toes, causing my fingertips to brush the ceiling. I reach down and touch my toes and then twist left and right, effectually releasing the stiffness plaguing my muscles.

By now Christian's standing next to me and looking groggy and tired. With a glance at the sunlight shining through the window, I ask Christian, "Can I see your phone?"

With a confused look, he pulls his iPhone out of his pocket and hands it to me. According to the screen, it's three o'clock PM, early in the vampire morning. I grab Christian's hand and pull him silently down the stairs. I open the door and stick my head out and see no one, so I sneak out, pulling him along all the while.

As we run across the campus I realize that Christian, being a Moroi, is probably getting weak from being in the sun. I look around and realize we're about five hundred feet from my room and about three thousand feet from his. In a split second decision, I pull him to the wall where my room is he looks kind of confused but when he notices my room a look of understanding crosses his pale features.

I push up on the window that I need to use to climb into my room but my hands are so dry that they slide. I spit into my palms and wipe off any excess so they are just damp enough to not slide up the window. When it doesn't budge, I inspect the glass further and realize the lock is clasped. Shit. I don't have any credit cards or anything on me to unlock it.

I feel an imaginary light bulb spring to life on top of my head and I reach into Christian's pocket. Shock drips over his face as I dig around until I pull out one of the razors. Along with the blade, blood appears on my finger, which I cut on the razor when I dug through his pocket. I'm just happy no pain has registered from the injury yet. I put the bloody finger in my mouth to suck off the dripping blood and start to struggle with the lock on the window and the razor.

"What, are you a Moroi now too Rose?" Christian chuckles.

I make one of those weird "hrmph" noises in response as I try to open the window, unsuccessfully, might I add.

Christian pushes me out of the way, grabs the razor, and with a flick of his wrist, the lock clicks and he pushes to window open. He sends me a disapproving look and smirks.

"Yeah, well I loosened it up for you. I was just about to get it open when _you_ came over," I shoot back at him.

"Sure you where Rosie," he replies and ruffles my hair. How dare he! First he messes up my hair and he calls me Rosie. So, naturally, I smack him upside the head and give him one of my beat man eating smiles as I hop through the window with him hot on my heels.

As soon as I get in I dash to my fridge. I get some frozen bacon and stick it in the microwave for two minutes. I know most people lack a kitchen in their dorms but me being, well, me, I made sure to have easy food in my room in case something like this happens. I go back to the fridge and grab a soda.

"Want one?" Christian is now laying on my couch. His head snaps up to look at me.

"Yeah, sure," Upon hearing his answer, I throw it at him and he catches it, pops the tab, and chugs half of it.

BEEEPPPP! The microwave furiously wails. I run over and throw open the door. The smell of delicious bacon penetrates the air. I inhale deeply through my nose and moan at how good the bacon smells when the last time I ate was dinner two days ago.

I pick up a piece of bacon and slowly chew and enjoy the amazing flavor. I'm so wrapped up in the bacon that I fail to realize Christian's presence right behind me until he grabs a piece of bacon.

I moan again, only this time in disapproval. "Christian, don't eat my food, it's the only thing I've eaten in two days!"

"Well than we'll just have to fix that," he teases as he starts picking through my fridge. When he retreats, his arms are full of a variety of ingredients. Since I'm the worst cook ever, I decide to go over to my iPod doc and put on music. My speakers blare and I lie down on the couch until food is ready.

*** T | /\/\ | |_ /\ P 5 | ***

"Rose, wake up already!"'

Someone yells in my ear. I groan and turn my head away, and ignore them. That works fine until they sit on me. My breath races from my lungs with a strange grunting noise. Damn, they're fat! I try to scream at them to get off but my voice is lost, along with my breath.

They finally get off and I roll my head out of the cushions, desperate for as much air as I can get. A breeze tickles my neck, right below my ear. I open my eyes and see Christian standing with his mouth an inch from my ear. I scream and jump off the couch, about a foot in the air.

Christian I clutching his stomach and laughing so hard his face is red. He thinks this is funny? I bet I can wipe that smirk off his face.

I quickly morph my face into the saddest puppy dog face that I can manage, and it's pretty sad. I force tears to begin spilling from my eyes and sniffle a little, just loud enough for him to hear me through his bellowing laughter. He turns to look at me and, as I predicted, the smirk is gone before I can blink. Grief paints itself all over his face and I struggle to keep up my hurt and broken face and not burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. His mouth opens and closes a few times like a gaping fish, proving that he has absolutely no clue what to do. I sniffle some more and pretend to cry, and eventually he comes over to me.

"I-I-I'm sorry," he stumbles out and pulls me to his chest. As soon as my face is out of view, I laugh my head off. The idiot thinks it's me sobbing. I laugh even harder and gasp for breath. He pulls me up to try to comfort me and realizes how un-sad I look. A scowl stains his face but his lip twitching, trying to smirk at me assures me he's not really mad.

"If that's how you're going to be, I guess I'll just eat this lasagna all by myself," he taunts. Oh, yeah, he was making me food before he scared the crap out of me. The tantalizing scent wafts through the air and my stomach grumbles, begging for the delicious cuisine. Horror covers my features.

"W-wha-what? No, you can't do that!" I'm lowered to the point of begging, but I'm not ashamed.

"Oh, but I can," He walks away into the kitchen and I follow him. I don't give a shit what he says, I'm hungry. I go to the drawer and get two forks. We dig in, strait from the pan.

*** T | | /\/\ | |_ /\ P 5 | ***

I can't believe we just ate that whole lasagna. I feel like I'm going to explode. I wobble over to the bed and plop down on my side. I l lie on my stomach, I'll puke. If I lie on my back, my stomach will crush my internal organs, which I need un-crushed. As soon as my eyelids fall shut, I'm blissfully dragged off to LaLa Land.

**Like my "TIME LAPSE" thingy? Haha, but sorry this chapter was a little strange, i wrote it all spread out through the week, that also shows why the writing styles are a bit different. i write different at three in the morning than when i get out of school. **

**But i could really use some help with ideas. Review and tell me what you want because i'm at a complete dead end. If you help with ideas i'll even give you a shout out, i check reveiws and really enjoy constructice critisism, just please don't be mean! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry it's been sooo long since i updated. I've been working on this chapter for awhile and my school work's piling up. Oh, and i sprained my finger, hard to type in a splint. Anyway, i really hope you like this chapter, i do!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own :(**

Uggg! I'm so full I think I might explode. I should NOT have eaten that much lasagna last this morning. Now I'm lying on my bed, not moving in fear of rupturing my stomach, God forbid I bump into anything pointy. This hurt almost as much as Dimitri ripping out and stomping all over my heart. Almost.

I groggily lift my head from the fluffy pillows and drag my blurry eyes across the messy room. Something's not right. My eyes finally focus and I notice something on the couch. Messed up, long black hair spills over the edge of the arm of the couch. Oh yeah, Christian. A huge, unattractive yawn flies from my mouth at a stretch out every conceivable part of my body. My weight shifts slightly so I roll myself off the bed, and catch myself just in time to not get intimate with the floor.

I drag myself over to the couch and squat in front of Christian's face area. I lazily poke his cheek and he makes a snorting sound, kind of like a pig. After laughing my ass off, I try again to wake him up. It doesn't work. Finally, I go to the back of the couch and tip it, so he rolls off with a gratifying 'thump' on the floor. I stroll the to where Christian is groaning and see something very unexpected. Something little and black was protruding from the hemline of his jeans, which had fallen down a bit. Christian has a tattoo? Christian looks from my face, following the direction of my eyes down to his tattoo.

"Shit," he jumps up and pulls his pants up. My eyes snap up to meet his, "You did_ NOT_ see that."

"Oh didn't I?" I shot back, just to be annoying, then added, "Why not? What is it? Is it something embarrassing? I wanna' see!"

"Because I said so, no, and hell no," wow, he answered all the questions in eight words.

"Oh come on, please. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!"

He grabbed his bloody black shirt and it looked like he was contemplating putting it on, ew. Before he had a chance I grabbed it, threw it out, and ran over to my closet to get the huge shirt I stole from Eddie, it'll probably fit him. It's only huge because I'm tiny.

Christian eyes the shirt like it's got the plague, did I mention it's bright green.

"Everyone's in class. I suggest getting to your room and changing before everyone sees you in, _that_."

He takes my advice and runs off to his room.

Meanwhile, I hop into the shower. Hot water cascades down through my long, brown hair and over all of my curves. Steam seeps through my pores and I feel clean. My mind wanders off the path of reality. Right now, the last couple days did not happen. My and Dimitri are happily in love and so are Lissa and Christian.

My whole body fills to the brim with joy and contentment, and my phone goes off. I am ripped from this happiness and as I return to reality, the ache of my shattered heart slowly begins again with a newfound rage. I audibly gasp at the pain and my hands fly to my chest at their own accord, feebly attempting to hold together the pieces of my heart. It takes all I have in me to dry myself off and put on a tank top and a pair of shorts. The room starts spinning and I hit my wrist on the counter trying to catch myself before falling to the floor. I meekly stumble over to the bed before I realize the scab from yesterday's "incident" broke open when it was attacked by the counter. My body curls up into fetal position in the middle of the bed with my wrist pressed against my torso. Blood quickly trickles down my arm as tears pelt down my face. The whole bed shakes with the force of my sobs and I can't seem to catch my breath.

Sometime later, seconds, minutes, hours, even days, I couldn't tell you, someone knocks on my door. I ignore it, I'm busy. They knock again. Who insists on seeing me and why won't they leave. After another, more furious round of knocking, the doorknob, which I forgot to lock after Christian left, jiggles a bit and the door opens. Right before the door flies open, I flip over; a horrible attempt at hiding from this person, who is now on my hit list. Sadly, my sobs are a dead give away.

"Rose?" damn you Christian. He runs over to me and pulls me up to him. He sees blood all over my shirt and pulls my arms open, probably expecting to see a bullet wound or something in my chest. Instead the blood from my wrist begins trickling down his arm too. He looks at my wrist and frowns, averting his eves to mine.

"Again?"

I'm appalled he thinks I would do that again. "No," sniffle, "I-I hit it," sniffle, sniffle, "on th-the counter," sob, sniffle, "you a-asshole," sob.

He gets up and grabs a towel, pushing it onto the cut. He starts saying something about being more careful, but I'm not listening.

After he's properly fixed a Band-Aid on my wound, which isn't even bleeding anymore, I walk over to the forgotten cause of this breakdown, my cell phone. I unlock it and see that I have a text, look who's little miss popular (note sarcasm). It's from Eddie.

Albertas lookin 4 u, new instructor arrivd 2day

What great text etiquette. So naturally, I text back.

Thx 4 the info, if i dont go soon she'll kill me :P

I'm not much better at texting than him…

"Christian, I've gotta' go meet my new mentor, you coming?" I yell into my bedroom; I'm already in the bathroom getting ready. I wipe all the tears and blood from my body, change into I tight training tank and shorts and put some sweatpants and a light sweat jacket over it.

"Kay," I hear is the only response I get. I finish lacing up my sneakers, put my hair in a ponytail, grab my gym bag and drag Christian with me down to Alberta's office.

As we walk through the campus, eyes stare holes through us. I know we haven't been seen for like two days, but is this really necessary? Finally we arrive at the office door and I fling it open. I walk in and Christian is on my heels. I mumble a "hi" to Alberta and glance over at my mentor.

Holy hot. This guy is freaking gorgeous, and he damn well knows it. The way he stands with his head high, shoulders squared and his chest puffed up screams "I-know-how-great-I-am." He's tall, like six-foot tall, with dark brown, Taylor Lautner hair, with lightly tanned skin and piercing ocean blue eyes. He's ripped.

His pinkish lips open and I hear his voice, "Hi, I'm Brett, Brett Blade."

"I'm Rose Hathaway," this guy practically had me melting, but I won't let that get to me. I pasted on my best man-eater smile and put up my hand, which he readily shook.

"Well, Rose, it looks like you're all ready to train, so let's get to the gym."

As we walked back through the crowd of students, I notice Brett strutting a little bit. Just for the sake of outdoing him, I turn up my swag, my hips sway just a bit and I know I look amazing. I bust through the gym doors to fall upon the sight of my ex-bestie and her enemy (A.K.A. Lissa and Mia) brawling it out on the huge floor of the gym.

For a second, I'm so stunned that I just stand and watch, I mean, I know they hate each other, but they've never physically attacked each other first.

After a short dig through Lissa's mind, I'm surprised to find that Lissa threw the first punch. Before I can even think of what to do, Brett is standing there, holding them apart as they reach and claw at each other, although they're too far away to reach. And, unlike what I would have done, neither one tries to claw at Brett with their razor sharp claws, amateurs. Finally, after they realize that they're not getting to cat-fight anymore, the calm down, but Brett doesn't let them go, smart boy.

After glaring at Mia for a bit, Lissa scans the room with those bright, jade green eyes. Upon said eyes meeting mine, I saw loads of the darkness filling them. Too bad, Bitch, you can deal with it on your own.

I turn to start walking away, because I want nothing to do with this, when I feel the darkness seeping into me. I try blocking it out, but it's still coming in, more steady now and I'm just getting angrier. The BITCH is forcing the darkness into me!

I stop dead in my tracks, turn, run full speed at the bitch and punch her in the face, hard. I hear a satisfying crack splinter through the gym. I broke something. Judging by the river of blood spouting from her pasty nose, it's broken, and I'd bet my favorite bra that her jaw is at least fractured.

"Heal that BITCH!" I emphasize the 'bitch' part, "And next time you try to force the fucking darkness into me, well lets just say I won't go so easy on you," I turn and walk away, really leaving this time.

**Did you like it? Please review, pretty please with Christian on top! I still need you to tell me what you want to happen! If you help that just means that I can update faster!**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N: I AM SO SORRY. I've had writer's block. I've been super busy. Everything is working against this story being written but I shall continue.)**

Finally I reach my door. The lock is securely fastened. I forgot my key when I left, so I pull a bobby pin out and pick it. I storm through the door and whip it shut, but the expected slam never comes. Instead I hear an angry Christian curse under his breath. Oops, I should apologize, but I am far too pissed to care. And, I'm Rose fucking Hathaway, I don't have to apologize to anyone.

The door opens just long enough for him to slip in and the sound reverberates throughout the room when the door finally collides with the frame. Christian looks pretty pissed as well, not nearly to the level that I currently reside on, but he's mad, nonetheless.

I hastily kick my shoes across the room, leaving a small dent in the wall. I stomp to the couch and plop down, examining my hands. Lissa's blood is smeared over my knuckles, and I feel like they're some sick and twisted kind of trophy. Christian cautiously walks over, observing closely for my reaction, and gingerly sits on the couch, two cushions away from me. Smart boy.

I close my eyes and focus desperately on the darkness swirling inside of me. Right now, anyone that sees me, like Christian, probably thinks I'm asleep, but I'm wide awake. Every one of my nerve endings are running haywire. My brain is working in overdrive and I dig through my mind until I find the darkness. Instead of pushing it away, I embrace it. It wails on my nerves, erupting explosions of powerful emotions within me. Every negative feeling I could have rushes through me, scrambling my brains. On the inside, a tornado of emotions rips me to shreds, but my eyes stay closed, my face stoic, my body a stone statue.

After what seems like forever, I feel the emotions begin to still, the calm after the storm. By the time my eyes open, most of my larger problems are unhinged. As far as Dimitri goes, well I'll never forget him, but he deserves every ounce of anger I've managed to muster for him, and he's not worth my tears. Lissa, she's a bitch and I don't want her in my life, period. However, with these problems gone, new ones are bound to arrive, with my luck. At least now I know how to deal with this now.

I glance over and notice Christian asleep. I get off the couch, intending on letting him sleep, but the jolt of the couch when I moved woke him up.

He looked up into my eyes and smiled.

"What the fuck are you smiling about, Pyro?"

"You, you look actually happy for the first time since I found you in the attic," Christian assessed, smirking up at me.

Christian comes to stand by me and wraps his arms around my waist. To my surprise, I don't want to rip his head off. I return the embrace and feel him smile into the top of my hair, because, yes, I'm just that short.

"Time for me to get dressed," I untangle myself from Christian and push him onto the bed. I grabbed a cute outfit from my closet and proceeded to the bathroom to change. As I walk out, finally groomed and presentable, Christian just looks confused.

"Wait, where are we going?"

"You'll see, but I'm gonna' need to borrow your car," I reply, dragging him out of the room behind me and locking the door.

As we run, well I'm running and dragging him along, through the campus, people stare. Frankly, it's still that strange to see Christian and me together and not killing each other. We approach the parking garage building thingy and I'm bouncing like a little kid high on sugar.

"So," I begin, my eyes wandering around the maze of vehicles, "which one's yours?" I know he has a car, but I've never actually seen it before.

Now he pulls me along to the back corner of the lot and we stop in front of an awesome car surrounded by nothing but empty spaces. A huge black Hummer, all glossy and shiny, stands in front of me. Huge wheels, almost up to my shoulder, hold up this massive beast of a car. I'm awestruck in front of the grill with my jaw on the floor and my eyes probably bulging out of my face (attractive, right?) while Christian laughs and pulls keys out of his pocket and clicks a button. I hear the locks click and snap out of my trance.

It only takes three tries of reaching up on my tip-toes before the door opens. As I struggle while making strange animalistic noises trying to climb into the damn car, I feel Christian's hands around my waist and push me up into the car as he practically laughs his ass off. He struts over to the driver's side door and easily hops up into the seat. Damn my shortness.

"So, where to?" Christian inquired.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Is that a genius reply, or what?

He glared at me, clearly saying, "Really, are you serious right now?"

"Fine. To the mall!"

As the gate comes closer and closer, I realize that we're not allowed to just leave the Academy. However, when the gate finally arrives, the guardian who works it is asleep. So, I easily hop out of the monster-car and turn off the camera, and hit the button to open the gate. After the car goes through, I follow and Christian leans over the seat to pull me back into the car.

After I get properly situated in the monster, my hand finds its way to the knobs that control the radio. Christian looks at me disapprovingly from the corner of his eye.

"Eyes on the road stupid; are you trying to kill us?" I playfully nag at him. He rolls his eyes but returns his vision to the street we are currently speeding down. I flip through channels of static and weird old people music, looking for anything that won't make my ears bleed. Finally, I land on a station playing the end of a fairly recent song. I sway in my seat with the beat.

My favorite song crashes through the speakers. I sing along horribly because I have memorized every word to this entire song. Christian looked over at me surprised.

"What?" I inquire, flipping down the mirror on the visor to check for anything weird on my face.

"Oh nothing," he begins, returning his crystal blue eyes to the road, "I'm just a bit surprised by your music choice. It's unexpectedly bearable."

I smirk and sit back in my seat with a smug look on my face. Of course have god taste in music. If you think my music is bad you're probably a weird person who wears Crocs with socks and smells funny. **(A/N: sorry if I just alienated anyone with that.)**

So now Christian is laughing at me. Oops, did I say that out loud? Whatever, he's just jealous that he can't sing like me. The entire ride there is filled with blasting music, the bass pounding with as high as it goes. I even got Christian to sing along. We finally arrive at the mall, but it takes me a second to realize it because I'm still laughing and singing. I unbuckle my seatbelt and hop out of the giant Hummer, barely escaping death as I feebly regained my balance after stumbling for a second.

"Come on," I whine, dragging Christian along behind me, "Move faster, you fat sloth!"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" he glares at me as we stroll through the elegant revolving doors.

"It means you're an obese version of a mammal known for moving slow and you need to learn how to move fast! Now let's go already!"

He sighs and, thankfully, starts moving faster than a fat sloth. We make our way through the gargantuan mall, me bouncing around and excited and Christian, well he's acting like the emo pyromaniac he is.

By the time we arrive at my desired location, I no longer had to drag Christian so we were just walking next to each other. He walks about twenty feet without me before realizing I stopped in front of the tattoo parlor. He does a double take at the empty space I was supposed to be inhabiting, then spun around and noticed where I was. He glanced from me to the tattoo parlor sign, and then back to me and his face twisted into a look of confusion.

"Hi, I'm Rob, and I'll be servicing you today. How can I help you?" The man standing behind the counter, covered in tattoos, looking as terrifying as possible happily greeted us. That's why you don't judge people. This man is so much nicer than he looks.

"Hi, I'm Rose," I reached my hand over the counter for a handshake, "and I want a tattoo."

Rob remained smiling but seemed a bit surprised. He eyed Christian who's awkwardly standing beside me staring off blankly. Wait to be social there, buddy.

"Oh don't mind him," I told Rob, discreetly smacking Christian to bring him back to reality, "he's just here with me."

"Are you sure about this?" Christian whispers, wearily eyeing Rob.

"Yep," I reply, popping the "p" in his face, "Absolutely."

"So," Rob interjects, breaking up our hushed conversation, "You ready."

I nod, suddenly just the slightest bit nervous that I'm staring the needle in the face. Rob moves in closer and the sound of the needle buzzing fills my head. I take a deep breath and close my eyes waiting for it to pierce my skin. I feel a hand grab mine. I look over and see it's Christian's. I smile at him, making obvious that it's exactly what I need. I'm about to laugh, looking at how his slim, big hands practically engulf mine but before the noise comes out a small, searing pain etches into my skin. I choke on my breath for a minute and then breathe deeply until Rob is done.

When the sound of buzzing dissipates I open my eyes and look down at my hip. A small tattoo, about two inches square is now embedded into my skin. Rob gives me a hand to help me off of the table and Christian lets go of me so I can look at it in the mirror on the wall.

I see the small flower in the reflection. A fully bloomed rose painted on my skin in varying hues and tones of reds and greens.

I've already fallen in love with the small bit of art that is now a part of me.

"Now what? Are we going back to the Academy now?"

"No," I explained, "We've gotten out already. We may as well enjoy ourselves."

**(A/N: Again I am going to apologize for taking SIX MONTHS to write this. I'm trying, I promise. I would really appreciate it if you would comment and maybe hint at what you would like to see happen. I mean not that all comments aren't amazing, but constructive criticism would help me update faster. I'll try to continue ASAP and anyone who is still reading this, I LOVE YOU and you get cookies **_(::) (::) (::) (::) (::)._ **And if you comment you get waffles too c: (#) (#) (#) Okay I'm done typing now. 333)**


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